The Complaints ForumThe Complaints ForumBellyacheGrieveYammerWhineNagobjectsnivelrepinewhimperrefuteopposeand gainsayDoes that sound like you?Then complaints is that way...
Silence.Silence.In the late 20th centuryin libraries all over the landthe noise was totally deafeningand the readers would get out of hand'WHICH WAY TO ROMANTIC FICTION?''IS THE MICROFICHE WORKING TODAY?''WOULD YOU CONSIDER WAIVING MY FINES?I'VE NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY'No one could do any readingLibrarians went out of their headsThere were fights in the 'Biographies'books would get ripped into shreds.So a bill was drawn up in a hurryAnd the message was sent far and nearAll of the noise and shouting was outA new age of silence was hereCommunication would all be non-verbalOr a whisper would more than sufficeThe library is a wonderful place to beNow that shouting is a vice.
Airbag Love.Airbag LoveYou took me to a movieYou took me for a mealYou drove me in your brand new carYou looked cool behind the wheelwhen we hit some heavy trafficyou didn't try to avoidthe bumper of the car in frontand my airbag was deployedas I was enveloped by rubberwhite powder on my faceyou looked at me with passionyour heart began to raceYou said 'I can't help it,this might seem a little rash,but I love you simply just becausewe had a minor crash.My heart inflated quicklyIt took the impact of the fallbe my collision partnerdrive in to my wall'we were married very quicklyand we live like lovesick loonsWe roleplay mostly every nightwith talc and big balloons.
Drunk Man in a Bathtub.Drunk Man in a Bath Tub Stinking of whiskeyand apple shampoosoapy yet stinkyhe's totally stewedYes, he's hygienicbut tipsy as wellhis pits smell delightfulhis breath smells like hell.