Hello babies,

I'm back again.

This week I've had an ECG, which revealed that my heart only beats 50 times a minute. This is very slow, and considering that I wasn't even feeling particularly relaxed at that point it's mega slow.

Why wasn't I relaxed? Because I'd gotten into the situation where I had to strip to the waist in front of the very unattractive male nurse due to wearing inappropriate underwear for my heart trace. He explained that he had to put 10 stickers on me around my heart, asked me to pull my top up then said that he'd 'never seen underwear like mine before', which was stupid, as all it was was a 'body' and then told me that I was going to have to pull it down. So topless, cold and nervous my heart still only goes thump... thump... thump...

He asked me whether I was an athlete. HA! I'm the anti-athlete.

Well, I took the ECG, which was marked with the word ABNORMAL at the top, to my doctor who looked at me confused and grabbed my wrist to feel the slowness of my heart for himself.

He then said... "Neurologist... or Cardiologist, which shall i refer you to?"

"Don't fucking ask me" I thought but didn't say.

He thought about it for a moment and exclaimed "NEUROLOGIST!" I have an appointment in January, so it's not the most urgent matter then.

I am back to work now, they've been extra kind to me, keeping me off of the phone, seeing as I have a fat tongue that makes me lisp when I talk. So 'Good Afternoon Surgery' ends up as GOO ARDERNOON SSSSSSURGERY

The bruise on the side of my head has also turned yellow. Hmmmm-hmmmmm.

On top of all this I had my Swine flu vaccine on Thursday and my right arm hurts like bloody buggery.

Oh and I have an iPod touch, I have fallen in love with it. I love it so much I would marry it, but it's far too good for the likes of me.